Well, yesterday I embarked on another first for me. For the first time since my daughter has been born, I actually took 2 hours and had "me time". I went to Dunkin Donuts & got a Latte, and then proceeded to Borders to look for a few books I've been needing. This is not the first time I have been out without my daughter by any means. We still have date night, and I work full time, so that isn't the issue. The issue is me. I absolutely hate to leave her unless I have to. I have this fear that my child will not have that mommy bond with me if I m not with her every possible moment. My husband thinks I am nuts, and knows that date might typically doesn't happen unless there's a 3 day weekend involved. Thus, when I announced that I was going out for 2 hours (after quite a long discussion with God & our calendar), my husband was pretty unsure of what was happening.
Him: "What do you mean you're going alone?"
Me: "I just need some time to sit and think and look at a book without rushing."
Him: "So, you're leaving us here?"
Me: "Yes, that was the plan, but now it sounds like a really bad idea" (My voice is beginning to crack now, remember there are irrational hormones flowing here!)
Him: "No, just weird, you never want to be away from her!"
Me: "I know, but I have been doing a lot of thinking and I think that this is something that will be good for all of us, especially based on my attitude lately."
At this point, all he can do is sit there with a confused look on his face afraid to say a word for fear of what reaction I will have. So, I kiss both goodbye and embark on my journey.
Latte in hand, I enter Borders and am immediately overwhelmed. So, I take a deep breath and plunge in head first. I emerged an hour later with 3 books for myself ( a huge step for me to only have 3 - i am learning that I can always go back!) and 2 for "herself", pleased that I did not overspend, and that I survived the first of what i imagine will be many "me time" journeys.
I have learned that I have much more patience and appreciation for my family if I allow myself to take a break. I have also learned that the library is a wonderful place to find the reading material I need (aside from some that I just need to have to keep!) - have you seen the prices of books lately???? I think my wonderful husband even appreciated my time out. We haven't even talked about it yet, so I am not sure how often I will take that time, but I know it will be happening more!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Amen, girly! I know how hard it is to take those times, and I often backslide out of them for guilt of leaving the burden of caring for the kids on hubby dear. But they are his kids, too, and they need time alone with him, too! And my perspective is sooooo much better after I've been out and alone! Blessings on you dear friend! I am soo, sooooo, soooooo proud of you!
Love you know who!
Post a Comment